Palace Court Football Club Reserves - Player Profiles

Jordan Collins - Footloose Forward

           

This robust forward has found that he has been dealt both good and bad cards when it comes to the footballing side of his life. The son of Bonnie Langford and Rubeus Hagrid, he has been presented with quick feet and the ability to turn on a sixpence. His half-giant size makes him impossible to knock off the ball and allows him to be a one-man free-kick wall. Neither Miss Langford or Hagrid, however, are blessed with pace. This has been distilled down to Jordy who, to be honest, can be out-paced by a six year-old. Unfortunately, Mr Collins is not aware that a diet of beer, mixed with no sleep, do little to help his cause. Sources say Jordan likes nothing more on an evening than sitting in front of a warm fire and knitting. He produces many fine garments but excells in headbands which he frequently adorns on the pitch itself (Doesn't this count as advertising Jordy???????).
NB. Please note that Jordy changes his hairstyle more often than his clothes, so if it looks the same two weeks in a row make sure you're out of the changing room before he strips off......