Palace Court Football Club

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Sunday 20th July 2008

Lee ‘Piglet’ Wallis has recently returned from his end-of-season summer break, relaxing on the quiet island of Magaluf.
Looking red-faced and slightly jet-lagged Lee says ‘It was good to wind down after the strenuous season in which’ he added with a cheeky grin ‘I won several awards’. He continued ‘It was nice to relax and get away from my hectic social life at Ledge and use some of the local amenities and facilities to help me relax, although they were rather expensive’.
Rumour has it that she fleeced our fleet-footed lothario for a further 20 euros as well……………

Sunday 20th July 2008

Adam Guy, Palace Courts defensive-come-midfield dynamo, has put his new found fitness down to many things.
He claims ‘Diet, running and desire are three of the most important things that have helped me, but my biggest inspiration came from watching Rocky films on television. One thing that I have always struggled with was my agility and Rocky showed me that one of the best things I could do was to chase chickens around my backyard until I could catch one.’
Adam has strenuously denied reports that he has received Police Cautions about what he does when he catches them.
Whether these allegations are true or not, the chickens tend to run a lot faster on their second trip around the yard……………

Friday 27th June 2008

Although Reserve team star Lee Wallis' abilities bear a striking resemeblance to those of England and Newcastle legend Peter Beardsley, Lee decided to take this similarity one stage further. Many painful hours were spent under the surgeons knife, but with the wonders of modern day cosmetic surgery Lee thinks he has made the right decision. Will this increase his skills on the field? We only know that his chances of finding a lady friend have plummeted. We all hope it was worth it Lee. (Rollover the picture to see!)

	Friday 23rd May 2008 After the arrival of his first child, Chloe Jessica born on Sunday 11^th May, team manager Duncan Hammond was asked whether he was finding it difficult coping with the new arrival. ‘To be honest, compared to the tantrums that are thrown on a Sunday morning [Biss/Wallis], coping with a newborn is a breeze’. He also remarked that when the time comes, spoon-feeding a baby will almost come as light-relief for similar reasons, PCFC Gossip understands.

	Sunday 20th April 2008 A dangerous and potentially embarrassing situation arose in the visitors changing room following Palace Courts away victory over Hazlebury Bryan Reserves. A Palace Court team member, who will remain nameless, unwittingly stepped into the shower but was rescued in the nick-of-time. 'I just stepped in to turn on the shower' stated the player in question 'when I realised that the base had eaten both my socks and shirt. Any longer and I may have been stripped of everything, including my dignity!. Since this incident a three mile quarantine area has been set-up around the changing room whilst specialist teams do their best to contain and irradicate the bio-weapon.
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	Sunday 20th April 2008 Reserve Team manager Duncan Hammond has been given an increased budget of £3.50 and a pint of Guinness to buy in players for the new season.‘It is useful to have the extra funds available, but I believe we have enough talent and depth in our squad already without having to spend’ Duncan commented after wiping the white froth from his upper lip and handing over £3.50 to the barmaid for another pint and a packet of pork scratchings.